• Beverly Craddock

Trust, Security And Fear In Relationships

Headed into a relationship most people have hopes and fears. For too many people it seems that the fears become reality while the hope just fades away. Unfortunately, the fear has a huge advantage - it’s more important to your brain. Your brain will focus on the fear. Your brain will look for the little things in the relationship that might confirm your fear. And your brain will do things to prevent the fear that actually just assure that the fear wins.


Think about how this avoidance of fear results in relationship failure. Some people out of fear will put on an act of being a patient and kind person only to explode in anger one day and stun their unsuspecting partner. Some people will hide their weaknesses or dark secrets out of fear that they will scare their partner away - only to have that happen when the weakness or secret surfaces.

Other people just try to ignore being needy or speaking up when they disagree about something only to have those things build up and come out over time. If you keep losing out to the fears, maybe it’s time to be more open and honest with your partners. Through honest communication of fears, weaknesses, and shortcomings, couples can experience strong relationships that survive when difficult situations arise.